Monday, January 3, 2011

I don't know, sounds a little "plague-y" to me

I don't know about you, but I drank enough to kill a moose. But as our year and our lives turned over into 2011 this weekend, the lives of thousands of blackbirds suddenly ended in Beebe, AR. Like really suddenly, and somewhat traumatically.

Apparently this happens once in a while, large flocks of birds drop from the sky. The theories on *why* are actually more interesting than the phenomenon itself:
  • Celebratory fireworks caused so much stress to the tiny birds that their tiny hearts exploded in their chests
  • Atmospheric hail began to pelt them violently, causing internal bleeding
  • UFOs (yeah, you knew that was coming)
  • Chemicals from crop dusters ultimately poisoned them causing their organs to fail and bleed out
  • Secret plot by Al Qaeda to decimate America's heartland with toxic warefare (gotta love that one)
  • Secret government weapons testing
  • The second coming
Personally, I like the last one. Mostly because I have a Jesus action figure in its original packaging, and when he comes back it's gonna be worth a bundle.

No comments:

Post a Comment