Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Hacienda with class

There are many creative, out-of-the-box ways to spruce up your crib: paper lamps, crazy metal sculptures, unusual furniture, bizarre art.

One of the most neglected rooms in your abode, at least as far as decorating decisions, is the bathroom. Which is ironic, considering how much "personal" time you spend in there. You'd think we'd be driven to make the loo the most interesting room in the house.

So, the fine folks at Terra Artesana have solved your problem. Put some class under your ass.

This one is called "Caliente."

The most useful chart you will ever read

I have no regrets. No, seriously! Everything I have ever screwed up or grossly botched in some way has served as a learning experience. Whether relationships or jobs or family issues, I think I stand on solid ground. But if I could prioritize the things in my life that still kinda got under my skin, this chart would absolutely cover it.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

And I thought Amazon was the epicenter of online shopping...

Well, I have been proven wrong. While I can get just about everything I want on Amazon.com, including weapons grade uranium, there are some items that warrant their own place on the Internet.

There are places with even more necessities on the web:

Think Geek! - nerdery, geeketry, dorktasia, and weirdo gear abound.

Neato Shop - "Neat" doesn't even begin to cover the crazy, "who the hell thought of that" items in this online store.

Threadless - You've never had a shirt this cool. In fact, the shirt may be cooler than you.

Perpetual Kid - The best place on the Internet to squander your allowance.

Archie McFee - Home of the Jesus Action Figure. 'Nuff said.

And finally, Stupid.com - the name says it all.

While these sites don't offer the "Prime" program that Amazon does, they're definitely worth a look.

Holy house

Being a homeowner has been a non-stop roller coaster. From the joy of knowing I will always have a place to live, no matter what happens, to the abject horror of watching my dining room ceiling come crashing down and realizing I have no landlord to call about it.

I've always had a fantasy about buying a gas station or commercial building and rehabbing it into a single family home. But after getting in to my house (4 years ago) and discovering how much I dislike even painting walls, that dream has flown. Plus rehabbing is expensive! Just taking out a wall cost me like 10 car payments.

Well, these folks are clearly better off than I. And more dedicated and ambitious. They took a church and turned it into a striking, modern abode. I'm totally J...

Monday, March 21, 2011

Might be moving to Venezuela

They have jungles, beaches, diamonds, rivers, a reasonable GDP, and the "most gifted" men in the world. See how your country stacks up with this interactive map.

While one of the most urbanized countries in South America, it's also the wang capital of the Western Hemisphere. Excellent excuse to learn Spanish.

Not sure how to feel about this...

Creativity, athleticism, and taxidermy collide. I'm baffled, and disturbed. And curious in that "train wreck" kind of way. Who's bored enough to put this together?

Friday, March 18, 2011

Oh. Em. Gee. Teh cuteness.

I usually try to keep my blog posts to things ironic, ridiculous, and useful in the most specific situations. But today, I was introduced to the most amazingly cute thing I have ever seen: Basset Hounds running.

Not only are they sweet dogs in general, they're also hysterically floppy. These photos are evidence. My "Meep!" meter is on high right now...

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Amateur Night 2011

Tomorrow is the big day. The day when everyone in the US ties on too many green beers in celebration of some guy that may have alleviated a snake problem 1000s of miles away. The one day of the year where a serious drinking problem will go largely unnoticed. St. Patrick's Day.

While the historical significance of March 17th is up for debate, the social significance is irrefutable: get wasted. I wouldn't be surprised if national productivity takes a sharp down turn on March 18th.

A few hints that will keep you out of trouble tomorrow:
1. Pinch me. I fucking dare you. How will that green shirt look with a black eye?
2. Avoid calling midgets "leprechauns." This is never acceptable.
3. Beer is not supposed to be green. Don't be fooled by the festiveness.
4. Just because you drank up the courage to talk to that hot girl in the shamrock pasties, doesn't mean that you should try to muster the courage to drive home.
5. Ladies: keep it in check. Gingers are not okay.
6. Don't be a jackass. Tip your bartender VERY well for putting up with this foolishness. And if you don't, don't be surprised when he/she rips those shamrock antenna off your head and jams them in your eye.

Personally, I will be getting myself schnockered at home. Not willing to brave the roads with the hoards of geniuses bar-hopping against snakes, or celebrating the invention of whiskey, or whatever else.

Good luck out there. Be safe.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Well, nuts. I missed it again.

Yesterday was Pi Day. (3/14) Millions of nerds all over the world got drunk in their Pi gear, and I stayed home and watched crappy TV.

Here's some Pi gear for your entertainment. Kinda loving the Pi bowl...

Man's VERY best friend

Dogs provide comfort, and companionship, and love. From the tiniest Chihuahua to the largest Great Dane, they're like little space heaters in the winter and your best confidantes when you're sad and no one gets it. And even when they crap in the dining room, you can't help but love their little, fuzzy selves.

I have two pit mixes that are like my kids. I would sell my house to keep them healthy, even though they drive me nuts.

So, perhaps we can make our best friends, although some may be dumb as a sack of hammers, super useful. If I can teach them to open the fridge and re-load, I would see them in a very different light. "Sit" is pretty tough, so I'm not holding my breath.