Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Paula Deen better watch her ass.

The butt (haha) of many jokes about excessive butter use, Paula Deen has a reputation for ignoring calories in favor of authentic flavor. Her Tunica buffet features various side items swimming in butter, and just about everything you can conceivably deep fry. But ol' girl has some competition.

Meet the boys of "Epic Meal Time." If you can coat it in bacon, they've done it. Even if you can't coat it in bacon, they have figured out how to do it, and deep fried the sucker too. It borders on disturbing actually. Enjoy! But buy a gym membership after watching.

Tagline? "We make your dreams come true, then we eat them."

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Teenagers can be human beings. Who knew?

Those obnoxious high schoolers making a scene on public transportation, making out at the mall, and driving like morons; turns out they have feelings. And periodically behave better than some adults.

It's 2012, gone (at least legally) are the days of racial and gender discrimination. People with disabilities are just as valuable as the rest of us, and once we hop over the hurdle of gay rights (fingers crossed!), we're sitting pretty. However, socially, there are some that are still catching up.

Nuggets of Truth: women are just as smart as men, people come in different colors and it has no effect on their intelligence, just because someone's legs don't work doesn't mean their brain is broken too, and your son enjoying fantasy video games and the color purple is not a free ticket to Ru Paul's Drag Race.

Parents: your kids are growing up in a totally different world than you did. Shoot, they're in a different environment than I was in as a kid. Show some fucking adaptability.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Art and lighting and badass design

Want! My birthday's in May if anyone wishes to get a jump start on my gift. It comes from Germany, so allow adequate time for shipping.

Maybe a little too personal

I'm not sure about you, but I really don't have any desire to have my appliances talk to me. I'm fine with the occasional beep, but a disembodied voice coming from a toaster or something is really a bit much.

So while this might be a neat idea for a doctor's office or drug testing facility, I don't think it's too many other practical applications. The last household item I want talking to me or about me is the can. It knows too much...

Additionally, they keep referring to is as "she." That's creepy as hell.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

For emergencies ONLY.

Call this number now: 719-266-2837. It's not spam, it's awesome.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Nice Asimov!

I've heard my fair share of crappy pick-up lines. One of my favorites: "I think oral sex is the best, and I have some cocaine." (Long story.) It didn't work, in case you were curious.

From: "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? 'Cause an angel is missing" to "What's got two thumbs and likes to do it? (This guy!)", there is no shortage of one liners guys think will make a woman swoon into their bed, if even for the evening.

It appears that someone has gotten wise to the astounding number of these lines, and complied them in a single location. Granted, there may be many others, but this is the most comprehensive I've found.