Monday, April 9, 2012

Suddenly, wine is freakin' awesome!

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't recognize a good pino grigio if it kicked me in the shins. Yeah, wine's okay, if you're seeking that elusive "dumb as a sack of hammers" kind of drunk, but otherwise, it's just a force 10 hangover and stained teeth.

Plus, it's just about impossible to look like a badass while drinking wine. You can't shotgun some vino to impress your buddies, you generally drink it in a foo-foo glass you'd be discouraged from moshing with, and slugging wine from the bottle makes you look even more trashy than that Milwaukee's best you're sipping right now.

And so, my friends, and yours, Slayer, have come up with a solution: "Reign in Blood Red." I don't care who you are or where you come from, drinking a wine inspired by Slayer is just about the epitome of badassery. (I said it, it's a word now, deal with it.) Only one way it could be cooler: if the bottle was scored so that you can easily crack it on the side of the bar and menace haters with it.

No comments:

Post a Comment