Emo kid sings me through my childhood

I was a cartoon junkie as a kid, and well on into the teen years. In fact, I own every episode of the Animaniacs on DVD and periodically have "no pants" weekends. (No pants, 30 pack of cheap beer, and cartoons on DVD. It's nice to live alone.)

This guy created a medley of just about every cartoon theme song from the shows I watched compulsively from 1986 to 1996. It brought back memories of playing "Ninja Turtles" with the kids down the street, and the Thundercats lunch box I carried to my first day of second grade.

He also did a sitcom medley that's pretty entertaining.

Has someone absconded with your lunch?

I've had my fair share of Lean Cuisines swiped out of the office freezer. (In times of financial crisis, I have swiped my fair share too. Hey! Put your damn name on it.)

So how to combat lunchtime thievery? Web cam? Sniper tower? No! Try Anti-Theft Lunch Bags. Make that ham and cheese so unattractive your sticky fingered roommate will never want to steal it.

Another one bites the dust

It's official. Limewire has died. By court order, they are to cease facilitating the download of music and movies (and viruses, I guess) on their peer-to-peer network. Boo.

So now where am I supposed to steal music - - er, sample new media so I can go buy the new album at full price?

No really, where are the cool kids swiping music now?

Bond, James Bond

One of two original Aston Martins from the Sean Connery "Bond" movies was up for auction today, and eventually sold for $4.6 million dollars to a private collector. (The other is believed to be stolen.)

It included all of the standard "Bond" accessories: guns in the tail lights and passenger ejector seat. (Good for bad dates?)

I'd love to meet the guy that bought this and get on his career path...

Hungry?

This was too good to be lost on the news world. Apparently, starving bears in the Russian tundra have figured out a new source of food: corpses.

After a long drought, the bears are seeking out "refrigerated" nourishment in local graveyards. Evidently, one bear figured out that the bodies weren't too far from the surface, and taught the other bears how to dig them up.

I'm told (although it's not posted in this news story) that Russians do not embalm bodies or store the caskets in concrete like we do in the States. Additionally, due to the cold, not everyone is six feet under...

Instant debt cure

We've all seen them: the late night commercials claiming that loans can consolidate and reduce your debt. Advertisements for payday and title loans. We're in crisis up in here.

Personally, I'm a compulsive budgeter. I know exactly how much I have where and how I need to use it for bills, necessities (like tattoos), and fun. I'm sure my bank is monitoring my Internet activity and sending me recommendations for more financial tools.

Here's why: I was poor as hell in college. Got into some bad debt with credit card offers ("Sign up for this card and get a free shower radio!!), and just didn't understand how to balance a check book/control spending. After college, I got into more bad debt with financing offers from Aaronson (now bankrupt and gone) Furniture. Further debt from consolidation loans too. I was a debt monster. But that was nothing compared to a former roommate that was $50,000 in to credit cards before she graduated. Yikes!

Anyway, when I had the opportunity and was finally making a reasonable salary, I paid it down. Month by month. Shopped at the discount grocery stores, made friends with bartenders (read: "dated a lot of bartenders"), and ate Ramen like it was going out of style.

Now, financially solvent, I have found the below advice to be most beneficial. Listen carefully. It's important.

Some class under your ass

This fully proves that everything can be improved with Swarovski crystals. Not just for cell phones anymore, the crystal is hitting the commode.

Bling your bidet. Crystalize the can. Jewel the john. Get an icy potty. (Okay, I'm done.) Thanks to the $75,000 efforts of artist Jemal Wright, you too can crap like a king. Or at least a Hilton sister.

Muppet-ize yourself!

How cool is this?!

For the bargain basement price of $99.99 (note: not $100), you can have the folks who created Kermit and the Swedish Chef immortalize you as a Muppet. The question is now, "What do you do with it?"

I have some suggestions:

• Create the most amusing presentations for work
• Use it to scare off Jehovah's witnesses and other nuisance bell ringers
• Entertain your pets with instructional puppet shows
• Make an inappropriate film in the hopes of becoming a YouTube sensation
• Take it to your local open mike night for some ventriloquist fun
• Create audition tapes for reality shows using ONLY the Muppet

It's ME!

Badass artwork

I make paintings. Pretty neat ones, I might add.

See them here.

But this guy makes even cooler ones! Check out these stenciled masterpieces by artist "Eelus."

It's fall

Celebrate appropriately. Time for Pumpkin vs Pontiac.

Enjoy!

Safety first

The Spanish government loves it's citizens and wants them to be safe. All of them. Even the hookers.

Apparently, the standard issue mini skirt and fishnet stockings are now to be accessorized with bright yellow vests, so that hookers are more noticeable to traffic. High visibility hoes. Niiiice.

Hey, where did those BP reparations go?

To Motley Crue. Yep, you heard me. The state of Alabama has chosen to appropriate $600,000 of the $65 million that BP shelled out after the Gulf oil spill to pay Motley Crue to headline the Bay Fest earlier this month.

While this sounds like an incredibly stupid idea, it's actually designed to drum up tourism for the beaten down Gulf area. Not too bad, actually. I wonder if BP was listed as an official sponsor.

Another cleanliness incentive (NSFW)

The shower "poof" and body gel has never done well in the male market, while we women have learned to scrub our buckets with scratchy, plastic apparatuses on strings. Beauty (and scented-ness) is pain, right?

Here's an ingenius way to get the gent in your life to embrace shower gel. And abandon that hairy bar of soap. Eew.

It's official, everyone has a book deal except me

Not like I really have anything important to say that would require full book length, but I'm sure I could come up with some more pertinent life advice than this guy.

Admittedly, I'm curious to read it, but not dumb enough to pay for it.

If Snooki comes out with a book, I'm going to kill myself.

I'm a Baconista, not a Fashionista

I heard the term "Jeggings" on the radio today, and almost threw up while driving.

Jeggings?? Seriously? I understand "skort" but jeggings is a whole new kind of nauseating. I discovered, via Wikipedia - the center of all credible information, that "jeggings" is a legitimate term for leggings designed to look like denim.

I'm trying desperately not to vomit on my keyboard. I'm not sure it's going to work...

Wha??? Dino tech officially extinct

It was a sad day at the Sony Company. A single drop of rain fell on the last ever Walkman cassette player. It was a good run: 30 years. But times they are a changin'. Gone are the days of winding your music back up with a pencil, and cursing the $3.50 you spent on AA batteries yesterday for the damn thing that is now slowing Metallica to Manilow speed.

It's official. The Walkman, rest it's tiny, clip-on soul, has died. Sniffle, whimper.

Wear your vices around your neck

Literally.

Let people know who they're dealing with right off the bat.

Myself, I'm a Camel smoker, and a bourbon drinker. Maybe I can get 2 charms on one chain....

Cast art

I'm not talking about Cynthia "Plaster Caster."

I'm taking about "I did something stupid and broke my damn arm" art. Why sport the standard issue, bland ecru cast when you can style and profile your idiocy? Not only can you create a badass bar fight story about the arm you broke while cleaning your deck, you can also make an artistic statement.

Geek evolution

It used to be that being a "geek" was SO not cool. In fact, if you take it to the circus definition, a geek is a performer that does all sorts of gross things with their body, like snorting Tic-Tacs, and eating bugs.

When I was in high school, if you were called a geek it was a terrible insult. Not only did it mean that you're unnaturally smart, it also meant that you were socially inept. You'd be better off being a "nerd" or a "bookworm" than a "geek" any day.

It seems that the definition of geek has evolved in the last 10+ years. There is apparently a way to be a "cool" geek. Not only that, there are different kinds of geeks: movie geek, gamer geek, trivia geek, all of which are suddenly socially acceptable. Who knew?!

So, let me proudly proclaim my allegiance with geeks world wide. I suppose, I am a "crafting geek," one segment not represented on the following flow chart. (Click link for bigger - readable - version.)

The new iPhone 4 does EVERYTHING

It shoots HD video, it can remotely sync to your desktop, it takes gorgeous photos, it's faster than ever before, the display is in stunning clarity, video chat capabilities, multiple apps can be used at the same time, and the list goes on. (I think it makes phone calls too, but I can't be sure.)

Whether you're a business leader, or social butterfly, the iPhone has everything you need. A tiny computer in your pocket. Is there anything this gadget can't do??

Well, it turns out, that the iPhone 4, CANNOT withstand a .50 caliber bullet. Oh well, can't win 'em all.